Ashland Family Counseling

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Managing stress during the Pandemic

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There are two paths to take in order to manage and decrease stress and anxiety.

Just two.

Path 1: Address your physiological and psychological reactions to the stress.

Path 2: Address the events and factors that are the cause of the stress reaction you are having.

This has always been true. I wish that there was some kind of fancy new way of dealing with stress that is caused by a pandemic, but there isn’t. Sorry.

The good news is that these two pathways/strategies have been around for a long time, and we have great ways for walking those two pathways to reduce our stress and anxiety.

There is lots of room for creativity that can go into both paths. I’m going to talk about them each in turn, and hopefully give you a new direction to go in; away from being so affected by the increased stress you might be feeling as a result of the Covid-19 situation.

First, let’s talk about how your body responds to stress 

By “physiological reactions,” I mean the things that are happening inside your body as a result  of a specific stress. These are the actual physical reactions you notice within yourself.

When you say, “I’m feeling stressed,” you are most likely experiencing bodily sensations because of the stress in your life, whether that stress is a result of awkward situations with coworkers or global pandemics.

These physical reactions create the first chance that you have to lower your stress - you can do things to your body to make it feel better, things that don’t have anything to do with what is causing the stress in the first place.

You already know the kinds of physical reactions I’m talking about, but let's make a super-fun list of some of the ways that we physically experience stress or anxiety:

  • stomach aches and nausea

  • tension in muscles

  • distraction

  • irritability

  • interrupted sleep

  • fast heart beat

  • chest tightness

  • low appetite

The list is long.

The good news is, you have the power to affect your biology in immediate and important ways, sometimes before you can do anything directly about the cause of the stress.

You probably already know some of the things that work to help reduce those feelings and sensations, but if you’d like to, go ahead and google “how to reduce stress,” and come back in a couple of hours.

The options might seem really overwhelming, so I’m going to highlight just a few tried and true ones:

  • Breathe deeply for 3-5 minutes. 

  • Move your body, which could mean going for a walk or doing some yoga stretches.

  • Laugh. 

  • Get a hug (from a family member that you are already isolated with).

An added bonus of addressing your bodily stress is that it can actually boost your immune system...a great thing any time of year, but especially during cold/flu/covid-19 season. 

These strategies are pretty easy to accomplish for most people, and don’t take much time or resources. I didn’t mention meditation, because that term can put some people off, but it is also very effective. Here is an article for further reading: https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2020/3/18/21181644/coronavirus-covid-19-mindfulness-meditation-anxiety

Thoughts and beliefs are real

Besides addressing your physical, bodily reactions, the other part of “Path One” we need to talk about are the thoughts and beliefs, or psychological reactions, that stress and negative events bring up for you. 

One common example of how your thoughts can change as a result of stress is a phenomenon known as intrusive thoughts.

Intrusive thoughts are thoughts or images (usually negative and uncomfortable) that come into a person's mind without that person choosing to think about them.

You may not have wanted to think about puppies, but suddenly all you can see in your mind's eye are puppies, puppies, puppies. That is an intrusive thought.

Except it’s usually not puppies. It’s usually things that are much less fun to think about (unless you are a cat person).

Sometimes these thoughts can be so uncomfortable and come on so suddenly that the person having them may think they are crazy. From their point of view, they are watching their mind break down on them. 

Losing control of your thoughts is an easy thing to become ashamed of, and can be embarrassing. Plus, there are the thoughts themselves.

What would people think if they heard or saw the kinds of things going on in your head?

Beliefs can change in similar ways, and there are at least two ways that events like a pandemic (or another dangerous event) can change our beliefs. 

The first way comes from how our assumptions about how the world works are challenged by what we are experiencing.

For example, if you once held the belief that you would always be able to buy toilet paper whenever you needed it, that belief is now being challenged. Adjusting to the new reality of that is stressful in and of itself.

Furthermore, some people will start to struggle with the belief that they will never be able to get toilet paper again. Or, to put a finer point on it, some people will start to feel as though they may never be able to count on their needs being met regularly again. 

This kind of change in belief is just as unwelcome as intrusive thoughts, even if the person knows that this new belief is just not true.

The “untrue-ness” of the belief does not make it any easier to deal with, and like intrusive thoughts, it can be very hard to talk about.

In either case, talking about what you are thinking and feeling can be immensely helpful, especially with a professional. It is likely that you are actually having a normal reaction to the stress in your life, but without an outside point of view, you may never know it.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, please get a professional involved. There are many research based and time tested ways of addressing these (and other) reactions to stress.

Outside of yourself, there is work to do

So far, we have talked about how your body and mind may react to stress. The first path is about reacting; responding to how you are being affected by what is happening.

“Path Two” is different.

It is not strictly about making yourself feel better (though the end goal is the same: to be less affected by what is happening). 

Path Two is about getting outside of your body and addressing the cause of your stress. 

If you have a noisy neighbor, path one might be about getting yourself some ear plugs, path two is about going over to get the music turned down.

Before we get into path two, and since we’re specifically talking about stress caused by a global pandemic, let’s be realistic. 

No one person has the power to change the course of the pandemic we are all experiencing. We are left with collective action, which in this case has taken the form of social distancing. 

Choosing to follow social distancing guidelines, to the best of your ability, is a “Path Two” kind of response.

It is both reactive (you would not be doing it if the pandemic was not happening) and also proactive (an attempt to stop things from getting worse, and doing what you can to avoid getting sick yourself or acting as a link in the chain of somebody else getting sick).

Another way that I can illustrate how to walk Path Two in response to stress caused by the pandemic, is with some questions:

  • What kinds of life changes can you make now to help things in the future?

  • Are there other people out there also trying to stop things from getting worse, and how can you get involved with them?

  • How can you support people that are being affected by all of this in very important ways?

There is one more way to look at this path.

If you are feeling paralyzed by all that is going on, Path Two is about finding a way to be active.

Did you see the video that Gal Gadot made with other famous people by singing together?

How about Josh Gad reading books on Twitter? Yup. Olaf is reading books to kids every night.

Did you know that Jake Johnson, the actor who voiced Peter B Parker on Into the Spiderverse, is leaving voicemails for kids in isolation? Spider Man is calling kids to brighten their day.

You don’t have to be a celebrity to do things to make this thing easier for others. Those are just some examples of what Path Two can look like - taking action can actually make you feel less stressed.

At the end of all paths is another day

Walking these paths is a process.

They work, sometimes gradually, and they can make things feel less crazy.

But, what happens when you get to the end of managing your own personal reactions and have done all you can to address the cause of this issue, and you don’t feel better?

What is a person to do when they are washing hands, keeping their distance, breathing deep and getting exercise, cancelling trips and donating money, diving into path one and path two, and they still look around and feel like the world falling apart?

At that point, it is time to get a professional involved.

To end this post, I would say simply that your job is to do all that you can do to support yourself and manage your stress in this today, and know that you will most likely have a chance to do it all again, and better, tomorrow. 

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Hi, I’m Ben! I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Missouri. I specialize in working with kids, families and individuals.

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